Sitting in a class at the Civic Garden Center next to a woman who spent a good deal of the class pushing the top of her pen with her thumb resulting in a slight chtze chtze sound (my tongue is at the top of my mouth and my lips are pulled back). 

We were in the front row and it would have been obvious if I had leaned over and suggested she refrained from her efforts. “Do you really have to do that?” is what I wanted to say. 

Then I  weighed in on our needs. My need was for my surrounding environment to enable me the highest level of attentiveness.  (I was learning about how to have a better garden, faster.) Her need was to click- likely a nervous habit- I am assuming it wasn’t music to her ears either but instead a little thumb action, completely innocent and spontaneous. 

So I weighed her needs and the risk that I would bring her discomfort if I brought this annoying habit to her attention. She may even lose face, the highest “sin” one can impose on a being- equal to murder. (see Jewish text) Yes- my need for no distractions were not met but on the other hand- my needs not met still gave me my face. 

And so- I decided to live with it and if I see her in a class again- I will sit across the room. 

I love being a student. My latest study- Passover. Besides gardening topics (listening to the OEFFA conference sessions) - I want to learn why it is that as we age, we want to know the names of birds we hear, constellations, the trees and our ancestors. I am safe to say “we” because when I walk into my library- always there are older people sitting around a table pouring over geneology books. And many of the birders at Ding Darling are gray headed with binoculars and books. 

Here’s what I think. Naming gives us a different level of relationship with what ever it is we are standing in front of. It’s a way for us to introduce ourselves. Hello bloodroot. Hello Dutchman’s breeches. Hello Orion. Hello Beech. Beyond noticing. Respectful. 

I can dish it out but I can’t take it. April Fool’s day is my holiday. Not my favorite holiday, just a holiday I’ve mastered over the years. Food coloring in milk, a raisin in toothpaste, cellophane on a toilet seat (thanks to Jean Rothenberg’s scheming)- all of these acts prepared and thought out. The most involved “joke” was a letter supposedly from Mr. Billingsly drafted by Agnes Michels (then office manager) about the property on Amelia Olive Branch Dick was interested in. cccccc(means I’m falling asleep when I see “cccc” across the page) Well, Debbie got her pay back on Thursday. Sometime in the course of the day, I received an email from Eva giving a most dreadful update- she had been caught drinking in public and would be sent home (on Saturday). The subject line read: warning #2. Ummmm- I was so there. She had me. Hannah was standing next to me and we both cried. I found myself feeling more badly for Hannah, than Eva, because the news was upsetting. I felt badly that Eva would not be able to complete her stay given how happy she was with her family and city. 

And then the phone rang. It was Dick and he asked if I wanted to speak with Eva who was on Skpe. I heard laughing. Then it was altogether clear that this was something else. I hung up. Tricked. I had put the scene together and it now was clear- fooled, oh so fooled. 

It all started by passing on our trampline last spring. The trampoline was a gift from my mom and served us well. We enjoyed sharing the fun with our Open Home visitors in the early homeschool days. It was one of those all verstatile, any age recreations. Even I enjoyed bouncing. But it was a pain to mow around and it just wasn’t making sense for it to sit as long as it did with weeks and months of neglect. Mostly we’d find ourselves maintaining it. 

I put an ad in our hs on-line newsletter and it was scarfed up in a day. Coincidentally, the family that claimed interest were our neighbors on Morrison,  our first house rental  in Clifton. On a cold day in early spring we broke it down and helped Matt pack it up in his van. 

Last summer we enjoyed (or rather the mowers enjoyed) simple mowing with no obstructions. 

And that is when I started thinking about how we may want to use that space. I like how Judy has her chicken close to her house. I like Steve Snow’s back yard English garden. And now another idea: build beds for community gardens.

This is how it would work: we build beds for people to use as their family’s plot. We build the beds. We consult with a lawyer to draw up some kind of a hold harmless contract. We interview households ahead of time. And we charge some rent. The pond is used for irrigation. Parking is easy- electric is possible. We may even consider building a greenhouse for community use. This whole thing is an idea I’d like to explore further. The inspiration is a long time interest to be better stewards. How can we best use this parcel of land we live on? Grain production is another area I’d like to learn about. 

Saw a talented woman, about my age roller-blading on the trail today here in Sanibel. Maybe talented is not the right word. She was skating in such a way that we knew she was into it. Her foot could slide out from the side of her body as she slightly swayed to the right and then to the left. I was impressed and watched her carefully to see if I could learn anything. I have a pair of roller-blades at home. I never looked like that woman I saw today on my blades.

I’m not going to roller blade, play the violin or do another back handspring. I’m not saddened by this fact, just acknowledging. kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk (I’m falling asleep) 

I polished a pair of my shoes today with brown polish. A couple weeks ago- a pair of black shoes got good attention. I’m reminded of my dad’s wooden shoe shine box with the slanted foot mold on the top. I wonder if he still has it.

More fond memories spending time with my dad: making marble mazes with wooden blocks, Barq’s root beer with popcorn, Pinocchio getting swallowed by a whale (game with bed sheets), battleships, Sounds of Silence and Scarborough Fair on the stereo, community theater- David Ringer again and again.

ducks on the pond this morning….

last night- first time in 2010- spring peepers - 

Ah Rosa. Thank you for the wonderful afternoon. As I stepped through your door, I felt taken care of. I knew you were honest when you said- just come, don’t bring anything. Generous. And so- here we are- at the table. I am nearly brought to tears with the beautiful green grapes in a green tinted goblet with the velvet green place mats. Just lovely. Your soup was yummy, greens and barley and white navy beans. Perfectly seasoned. And a fritatta- delicious with cheese, zucchini, onion. I enjoyed hearing the story of your trip to Germany. It really is a book- on its way to be a movie. 

Its been a week of packing up my past. With the new furniture and linens and books and miscellaneous kitchen ware- we have new art work. Some of the pieces are quite valuable. There is a Diego, and a Picasso. Much of the art work is lovely stuff. Still I am unsettled by the process of both finding a home for the framed items and also exhausted by the process of weighing and assessing and making room. Much of what is happening is ultimately a good thing. Yes- I do want to evaluate what is meaningful and worthy of taking up space. Does it have utiltiy? Am I affectionaly attrecated to the story behind the piece? Is it beautiful? The process is not new and in good years I have been able to do this at least in August before the new “school” year would begin.

The shelf in the great room by the blue couch is now wrapped in the loft of the workshop. Lucky us- we have on site storage. This is both a good thing and a bad. Well- good because we don’t have to pay for storage. Bad because the more space you have to work with, the more likely you’ll hold on to things and simply defer the decision to let something go till later. And sometimes that later is too late. We have lost items to poor storage conditions and ignorance and neglect and irresponsible behavior. We put Hannah’s Jenny Lind double bed in the loft with out so much as covering it. Time goes by. Mold sets in. The wood dries out. The frames are ruined. Without temperature and humidity control, we don’t have the best storage for books and wood furniture. One of the challeges to this project is that we are not ready. It would be different, entirely, if the out buildings had been given our good attention all along, or at least in Januray. Here it is March 11, the moving van arrived on the 26 and yikes- where will all this stuff go?

There is a book sale at Daniel’s school and I am happy to contribute. I have also packed up many, many boxes of children and young adult books for our barn. With Daniel’s busy schedule, I don’t see him able to peruse our books. I so miss our out loud reading routine. Of course I would. Twenty years of waking to a book in hand. Food for grounding our day - even before breakfast. Just one more chapter. And so - there is a sence of passing of a time that will never be re-created in quite the same way. I can not even call this feeling sadness. I don’t think I am sad. Perhaps nostalgic and mindful. I am humbled by time.

In the living room where we once had Julie Pentelnik’s pieces- now is the hutch which ws in Ruth’s dining room. Pictures came off and we decided to put them in the dining room. When Dick first inquired about this option my impulse was, “no.” I like our wires in the dining room- casual and artsy and current. I love having a place to post Daniel’s drama events for the year, art work, photos. But it is true- we haven’t been using it actively for quite some time. And not one child is making art these days (for hanging). So here again, an era of our lives has passed. Now we are making room for the next phase. Julie’s prints look really nice there- blessings for the wine and bread. Quite appropriate.

It is good stuff- to prepare space to welcome the new (or old ) furniture, We’ve worked hard. Taking the chair from our bedroom out the balcony (all four of us) into the living room. Hauling boxes of Judaic books to the barn for storage to make room for a circle of transitions (futon on the floor in Eva’s room going where the videos (kids) used to be. Dick’s old dresser now in the guest room (where Hannah is staying). What has made the process all the more stressful is that we are hosting a large (20 people) event here tomorrow called Shabbat Around Town. Better get to work.